Communication 101: How To Relearn The Art of Connection In The Age of Constant Distraction

By Dr. Veronica Dumas, Psy.D., featured in Miami Shores Living Magazine
Published on 11/24/25

Our phones have become appendages to our hands. We live in a constant stream of messages, notifications, emails and DMs that hijack our attention from the moment we wake up. We even know the real time location of family and friends, and yet our ability to connect, to truly listen and understand one another has quietly eroded.

Conversations have become hurried, aggressive, and often transactional. Even dinner reservations now come with a two hour limit cutting short the long lingering talks that used to nourish our social life. The phone that was once only a tool of connection, now interrupts our every sentence and becomes a constant source of distraction from true connection.

What is the solution?

Becoming more aware of good communication skills is essential for everyone, but particularly for the younger generations.

1. Eye Contact: The Door to True Human Connection There is nothing more human and more healing than eye contact. It grounds us in the moment and has the capacity to regulate our emotions. Neuroscientists have found that mutual gaze activates brain regions related to connection and reward.

If it feels uncomfortable, it might be because there are some emotions that are in the way of the true connection. Whether it is fear, shame, anger or just a little embarrassment, getting comfortable with it is just a matter of practice. The rewards of looking someone in the eye and feeling the connection are truly magnificent.

2. Body Language: We Talk With Our Bodies Your body speaks before your words do. Face the person fully without turning away, as this can send a message that you are not truly interested in the interaction. Sit or stand openly and uncross your arms; don't fidget or engage in another activity while talking. When we speak with our body fully oriented to the person that is listening, the other person feels safe, curious and receptive. If you feel anxious doing this simply breathe slowly, as it will calm you as well as transmit a sense of peace to the receiver.

3. Take Turns: Dialogue is Like a Dance In conversation, listening, and speaking should take turns just like in a dance. Relationship researcher John Gottman found that successful couples engage in turn taking behaviors, rather than interruptions. If you are afraid of forgetting your point, you may jot it down to allow the space for the other person to finish their point.

4. Reflect Back: “So Let Me See If I Got You…” One of the most powerful communication tools is called active listening. When you paraphrase what you’ve heard it sends a message of respect and it prevents misunderstandings. Studies show that validation and reflection increase relationship satisfaction (Journal of Marriage and Family, 2015).

5. Curiosity: The Art of Humble Listening Just by simply introducing the sentence, "tell me more," you can open up the space and bring curiosity and closeness. Esther Perel, the well renowned relationship expert and author, calls curiosity the "vital energy of relationships". Think of a conversation as a journey into the world of the other, one full of discovery and excitement to learn something new about them.

6. Breath and Pause When It’s Difficult When a discussion turns tense, take a slow breath. Physiologically, this signals safety to your nervous system. When we are emotionally "flooded", logic and empathy shut down. If you or the person you are communicating with are unable to calm down, it is best to stop the communication and choose another time when both parties are calmer.

7. Avoid Generalizations: Stay on One Topic Words like "always" and "never" push people into defense mode. Stick to the present moment and address one issue at a time. This allows us to focus on resolution and prevents feeling overwhelmed.

8. Think Before You Speak A few seconds of silence before responding can transform communication. The more words we add, the more diluted our message becomes. Try to speak in the simplest, most clear way.

9. Assertive, Not Aggressive Aggressive communication, whether it is through tone, words or body language, activates the listener's fight or flight response. Assertive communication by contrast has to do with honesty and vulnerability. For example, use sentences like "I feel (emotion) when you (behavior)", this approach, used by the Gottman method of communication encourages empathy rather than defensiveness.

The Art of Being Present

We cannot slow technology, but we can reclaim our own attention. We can choose to see each other, listen to each other, and be with each other. Because in the end communication is not about constant contact, it's about conscious connection.