Less Stress, More Connection: A Therapist's Summer Survival Tips for Families and Couples

By Veronica Dumas, Psy.D.
Originally Published in July 2025 on Miami Shores Living Magazine

Summer is here, and most of us associate these months with relaxation, travel, and being on vacation mode. If you have young children, you may vicariously experience their excitement- being off from school, going to summer camp or simply enjoying days without structure. If you don't have kids or your children are older, you may enjoy the fact that life seems a little slower. There's a bit less traffic in Miami, and perhaps you are planning a getaway or spending more time at the pool or at the beach.

And while many of us expect the summer to be a positive, restful time, the reality is that research shows over 27% of people report feeling more stress before or after a summer trip (American Psychological Association, 2018). The disruptions in routines, high expectations of vacations, and generally spending more time with family or partners can easily take a toll on our mental and relational well-being.

So what additional stressors tend to show up in the summer months? How do we handle them?

1. Unrealistic expectations of the summer

Let's say you're going on vacation with your family- one person wants to visit museums while another just wants to chill at the hotel until dinner time. That disconnect can create a lot of tension. How to avoid it? Talk about expectations before you leave. Have a family or couples meeting and make sure everyone has a chance to share what they are expecting from their vacation days. Every relationship requires some type of compromise, but it all starts with a conversation.

Maybe your teenager doesn't want to spend five hours at the Prado Museum. Perhaps your partner expects to stay completely off-line and you're hoping to squeeze in some work calls. If these differences aren't discussed ahead of time, conflict is almost guaranteed, set realistic expectations and be ready to compromise so everyone feels seen and gets something out of the trip.

2. Disrupted routines

Changes in sleep, eating and activity patterns can lead to increased anxiety, shorter tempers, and less patience. Sure, a two-year-old needs a predictable routine, but adults benefit from one too. For people with anxiety or ADHD, a lack of structure can feel especially destabilizing. A 2019 study in Sleep Health found that irregular sleep patterns, common during summer months, are linked to elevated anxiety and depressive symptoms. Try to maintain some basic routines, regular meals, consistent sleep, movement and ideally some form of daily reset like a 20-minute meditation or quiet time alone. It makes a huge difference.

3. Too much time together.

Spending a lot of time in close quarters, whether it's a hotel room or a small Airbnb, can increase stress. Everyone needs personal space, especially on vacation. When that's not available, irritability tends to rise. Create opportunities for alone time: go for a walk by yourself, take a solo swim or let teens have their own downtime; they are used to spending most of their day with peers, and long periods of family time can feel overwhelming.

Giving each person a little breathing room can go a long way in keeping things peaceful. Let your summer be good enough. Summer offers a beautiful opportunity to reset, connect and create beautiful memories, but it does require a little intentionality. Research consistently shows that emotional well-being improves when people feel both a sense of autonomy and of belonging at the same time (Deci & Ryan, 2000).

Vacations that allow space for both personal needs and shared moments tend to be the most restorative.

Taking time to self regulate, communicate expectations clearly, and respond with empathy instead of reactivity are the summer survival skills that make all the difference. So whether you're traveling far or staying local in Miami, remember your mental health and that of your loved one by being fully present, showing flexibility, and being receptive to open and honest communication. Happy Summer!