The New Year Reset: What Really Helps us Change and Grow

Written By Baypoint Counseling Center

By Dr. Veronica Dumas, Psy.D., featured in Miami Shores Living Magazine
Published on 01/05/26

Every January, most people set goals for the New Year. We get excited about our resolutions and envision a happier us once all goals are reached. However, research shows that by the end of June, 54% of people have abandoned their New Year’s resolutions (Norcross, 2002). One of the reasons for this is that most resolutions are just designed in a way that does not support our change. They usually require change that is too much, too fast, and that lacks the necessary support in order to be successful. This results in our nervous system becoming overwhelmed, as the brain is not designed to cope with such sudden changes.

Why Do Resolutions Not Work?

Resolutions tend to not work, not because of our own internal failure, but due to the fact that the resolution was never supported by a habit, the environment, or a realistic expectation. These are some of the reasons why they fail:

  • They are too vague: “get healthier” or “be happier”

  • They’re too big and overwhelming: too much stress on our nervous system pushes us back to familiar habits

  • We set too many goals at once: the brain becomes overloaded and goes back to old routines

  • They rely too much on motivation: we need habits and structure to keep up with change

  • They focus on outcomes, not behaviors: “lose 10 pounds” instead of “walk 30 minutes everyday”

  • They are too driven by self-criticism: this triggers the threat and resistance response

  • They are not based on emotional meaning: goals tied to purpose are much more likely to last

"Happiness is a direction, not a destination" — Arthur Brooks

What we are ultimately looking for when we set goals is to increase our happiness. We feel we will be happier if we lose 10 pounds, if we make more money, if we buy a new car, or if we have a fancy vacation. We often look at happiness as a finish line and typically focus on goals that are related to our job, our body, or our finances. However, even if we achieve those goals, we typically go on to set the next goal, without necessarily feeling happier once we achieve the prior goal.

According to Arthur Brooks, a Harvard professor known for his work on happiness, the goals most likely to increase happiness are not the ones that impress others. They are the ones that build meaning, connection, service, gratitude, and daily alignment between what we value most and how we actually live each day.

Ask yourself: What direction do I want my life to move towards this year, instead of what do I want to fix about myself?

A New Way to Set Your Goals

Here are a few examples of how to shift your perspective for the year:

  • Instead of “be happier” – spend 10 minutes a day doing something that gives me meaning.

  • Instead of “be more social” – go for one weekly coffee with a friend or make three phone calls per week.

  • Instead of a professional success goal – volunteer once a month, join a community service project, or mentor someone.

  • Instead of adding a goal that is very difficult to reach – focus on letting go of something, like constant comparison, perfectionism, or outdated versions of success.

  • Instead of wishing for more – write down three things you are grateful for every week or implement a “what went well today” habit at the end of the day.

According to Brooks, relationships are the strongest predictor of long-term happiness, higher than money or achievement. Brooks also found that contributing to others increases life satisfaction more reliably than personal success goals. Letting go of certain pressures increases happiness and reduces chronic stress.

The Science of Change

Oxford-trained neuroscientist, Dr. Tara Swart, explains that too many resolutions can overload the brain, and it is tiny, sustainable habits that lead to change instead. These changes are more likely to take place when we introduce visualization through action or vision boards. Looking at images that support your goals helps us to create new neural pathways that support those goals. Our brains tag images on a vision board as important and we are more likely to notice opportunities that match those goals. Dr. Swart highlights that boards are not magic, but when paired with concrete, repeated actions, they do increase the likelihood of achieving our goals.

Just like Brooks, she encourages us to be gentle with ourselves during the new year’s intention-setting period and to stay away from attacking ourselves or creating a list of things to fix about ourselves. Instead of focusing on areas where we feel shame, connect to your deepest values and bring awareness to the areas where you feel stuck.

Ask yourself: “If I don’t put too much pressure on myself to change, what does my heart deeply intend for this year?”

Research-Based Strategies for Success

If you still feel a need to create a long list of New Year’s resolutions, the following strategies are going to increase your likelihood of achieving your goals:

  • Use “if/then” plans for every goal: If I finish dinner, then I take a 10-minute walk.

  • Attach your goal to an existing routine: After morning coffee, I journal for 15 minutes.

  • Turn every goal into a specific behavior: make it simple, doable, and measurable. "I will walk 20 minutes after dinner Monday thru Thursday."

  • Use approach goals instead of avoidance goals: "I will eat more vegetables" instead of "I will stop eating junk."

  • Review goals weekly: Readjust where needed, stay realistic for each week, and track goals with a system like a weekly reflection list or marking off on a calendar.

  • Limit yourself to 1-3 goals at a time: fewer goals increase the likelihood of success.

Join Our Vision Board Workshop

If you’d like to turn these ideas into something you can actually see and use in daily life, I invite you to join me for a vision board workshop here in our community. We will spend time reflecting, cutting images from magazines, choosing words, and creating a personal board you can place somewhere visible as a reminder of the direction you’re setting for 2026.

It’s a relaxed, creative, and practical way to start the new year. All supplies will be provided.

To learn more or reserve a spot:

Happy New Year from the team at Baypoint Counseling Center. We look forward to continuing to support your mental health needs throughout 2026.

Baypoint Counseling Center
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The Gentle Art Of Grieving Through The Holidays: When Joy and Sorrow Are Both Invited To The Table